Hugging Thin Air

Doing better again – the “beached whale” feeling is gone and my legs don’t hurt all the time either: I checked a book on meditation out of the library – something I wanted to try out for a long time, to learn disconnecting from the worrying thoughts. I haven’t actually managed to empty my mind yet, because every time I sit down, the urge to scratch fifteen different parts of my body at once arises, but I will hopefully get there eventually. The book also contains exercises on physical relaxation and they have been very helpful already, hence the improvement of the muscle pain.

I don’t believe sports or meditation or yoga and the likes can prevent or heal depression, else I wouldn’t have started one of the biggest crashs of my life when I was just going through the most extensive sports programme I’ve ever done. An episode of major depression is too forceful to come to a halt just because of that. However, I do believe that it can support you in dealing with side effects and soften the blow a little.

As I was walking outside today, I felt a sudden urge to wave my arms around in the wind. An urge to move. I didn’t really act on it out of fear the people looking at me flailing my arms would think I had lost my marbles, but it made me wonder whether my body is “waking up” from the petrification  of chronic depression, too.

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