Half an hour to go until I have to leave for university and I am fighting tears. I am not afraid of going, but start feeling overwhelmed. Even though I get enough sleep, I am very tired, and my studies are haunting my sleep – I just cannot stop contemplating them. When I wake from sleep in the middle of the night, it is as if my brain never stopped reflecting on them, because the thoughts are there before I am even fully conscious.
I don’t want to go back to that depressed state. I don’t want to fuck this up again.