Those last few days my situation has been really bad; as mentioned before, I depend on financial support from my parents, and my mother has been urging me to get a job, even though I hardly have the time and capacities for taking a job on top of my studies. I tried handling the situation on my own, but when she threatened I had to move out of my flat (which would equal moving in with my parents again), I panicked and wrote to my therapist about the situation. He replied:
“My medical opinion is that a place of your own is very important. Moving out or getting a job at this time would put your health in extreme danger and further increase the risk of chronification. That’s a specialist’s opinion. Please stay calm and tell your mother that you are in close contact with me and asked for my medical opinion. I’d be happy explaining it to her personally in the new year.”
I am going to take him up on this, because I believe that he’ll be able to speak with much more authority to my mother than I could ever have. If I say anything, it might look like I’m unwilling to get a job, when in reality, that’s not the case at all. I wish I had the energy to handle both…
I don’t actually think my mother was going to kick me out – it’s more like a really inappropriate kind of hyperbole to steer me in the direction she wants me to take. But at that time, the idea really freaked me out: I do love my parents, but living with them permanently would drive me over the edge quickly.
I’ve had so much stress lately that the muscles in my limbs turned stiff and hurt so much that I can’t fall asleep until 4 in the morning. My eyes are inflamed again too. Those are symptoms I can handle, though. What unnerves me is how much my cognitive abilities are influenced by this: it’s harder to concentrate and doing my homework becomes more difficult. It started about two weeks ago already, but has increased since.