Misfortunes Never Come Singly

Over the past few days, I’ve had to deal with a number of frustrations and disappointments.

The aquafit class got cancelled after local authorities closed the pool and adjoining gym. Apparently there’s fault with the ventilation system, and fixing it will be so extensive that it won’t re-open before summer 2017. A number of schools and seven different sports clubs have now suddenly lost their training locations.
As for the group I was part of, any vacancies at aquafit classes held at different pools are first going to those who joined as part of their physical rehab. Anything that’s still available afterwards will be offered to the “prevention group”, or you can simply get your money back.
Financially it’s no loss, but I was so happy with everything concerning this: the group, the instructor, the time slot, the uncomplicated drive… On Friday I’ll find out if I can at least finish the last four weeks before the summer break.

Then, we are having jobcenter problems. My husband has a fixed salary per hour, but there are additional boni for night shift, Saturday or Sunday work. So he never gets paid the same and the difference can be several hundred euros in extreme cases.
As I mentioned before, welfare is slowly phasing out; we are still approved until the end of September and only get substituted right now to make up the difference between the threshold-income and his actual income. We have to hand in a copy of his payslip every month to prove how much he made.
Well, the first month, when my husband’s actual income after taxes was still lower than what we got from the jobcenter, they paid us too little and the missing rest came three weeks later. The second and third month, they paid us too much (way too much this month) – which wouldn’t be such a big problem if we wouldn’t get into trouble for that down the road. We basically have money sitting in the bank that isn’t ours, that we can’t touch because they might ask it back at any given time, and all attempts to contact them have been fruitless so far. They don’t react to emails, phone calls end in the holding line…

On top of all of this, the jobcenter ordered me in Friday morning to discuss my medical report. It makes me nervous as hell, because I don’t know the result and what they want to do with me. Worst case scenario, we would have the means to terminate welfare support on the spot. Last month we were just 60€ below the threshold and this month we’ll be over it, so the jobcenter would have (or should, at least) stopped giving us money anyway – we only wanted to stay until September because we could have used the “mobile pass” still, which gives you percentages off public transport fares, and as a security net until my husband’s probational period at the new job ends at the beginning of September. Last but not least, terminating now would be a nightmare of bureaucracy, whereas just waiting until it runs out does not require anything other than NOT requesting a renewal.

Logically, I am aware that no matter what they are going to say on Friday, they can’t do anything to me. I could just walk out saying “So long, suckers!” if shit hit the fan. But being the unconfrontational person that I am, it already stresses me out.

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Busting My Ass

Today we had a substitute instructor at aquafit who seemed intent on turning the class into boot camp. Eventually it transpired that she had confused us with the aquapower class afterwards and drilled us with tabata, a high intensity interval workout. Finally the most brazen lady yelled from the pool: „This is aquafit for chubbies!“ Not that it made the instructor change her programme.

It was still fun, but I’m afraid my arms and legs will be screaming tomorrow. I prefer our usual routine, which leaves me energized afterwards – today just made me feel powered out.

My weight went up and down a bit this week, but the general trend is down. I was 98.9 kg this morning, – 1.7 kg from last Friday. Low carb is quite effective for me. I think I burned more fat than the scale shows, though, because I lost 2.5 cm (one inch) of girth on my belly in just six weeks, but am a mere 3 pounds lighter than at the beginning of March. I must be building muscle from all those exercises where we work with the water resistance. It’s doing wonders for my back, in any case!

Floating On Top

The first aquafitness class was thoroughly enjoyable. As I wrote before, it’s a course dedicated to overweight people and / or those who haven’t exercised in a long time, so everyone but the instructor is quite large. That alone really helped me to be at ease, because I didn’t worry how I’d look compared to the others.

The group is lovely too; not all the new people on the list showed up, and more than half of the participants already knew each other from previous classes. The instructor made everyone introduce themselves to everyone, no matter whether you were a first-timer or not, which was a little awkward, but I managed. And as far as I can tell, everybody is genuinely friendly and nice. I liked the rapport the instructor had with the regulars. The general setting was non-threatening enough to keep my social anxiety in check.

From what I understand, there are two different kinds of aquafitness: the one where you can stand on the ground, and the one where the water is so deep that you can’t reach the floor. I’m doing the latter. The exercise is pretty similar to aerobics, just modified to fit the environment, and a little slower. Since you’re working against the water resistance, it’s just as exhausting as a normal aerobics class, but without the sweat and running out of breath.

I’m probably going to be sore tomorrow, but tonight I am feeling a good kind of heaviness in my arms and legs – the one that comes when you have exerted yourself. And my back ache already is a lot better after one hour only. Mentally / emotionally I am feeling rather well, too – just what I wanted to get out of this class.

Signed Up For Aquafitness

I’m not a “sporty” person, quite the opposite: about 50 pounds overweight – not morbidly obese (anymore), but in the area where my weight will most likely lead to health problems down the road. The last big check-up was five years ago when I applied for the clinical study. Back then I was physically healthy, but I am aware that it doesn’t take much to change that.

Since November 2014, I lost 8 kg/ 18 lbs. Not through dieting, because going on a diet flips some kind of switch in my brain which causes me to think about nothing but food all day long. Instead, I practice moderation, and thanks to the escitalopram, I am a little more active than I used to be. It’s a slow process, just a pound lost per month on average, but it’s trending towards the right direction.

My all-time maximum weight I had in 2003, when I was 17 kg / 37 lbs heavier than today. It was mostly due to the untreated hypothyroidism that I gained that much, but if I thought taking the appropriate medication would melt the fat away, I was mistaken. Even during my most active times, I would shed the pounds very slowly only.

A few weeks ago, I decided to sign up for an aquafit course – one especially for overweight and/or unfit people. Even though I loved the Tae Bo class, it was so physically demanding that I don’t think I’d be able to do it anymore, and even at the best of times it made me very self-conscious about my body, because the rest of the people were really toned… That definitely shouldn’t be a problem anymore.

Even though I talked a lot about weight, losing it is not my main motivation: I want to be healthy. At almost 36 years old, it is for the first time ever that I feel like my body might fail me if I do not take care of it. I don’t want to get rid of the physical symptoms of depression just to suffer from the side-effects of ill health. Thanks to Facebook I know that somebody I went to school with suffered two heart attacks last year, and even though his lifestyle was a lot unhealthier than mine, I don’t want to be next in line.

Apart from the physical benefits, I also hope for a positive effect on my mental health. I do not believe that an active lifestyle can prevent depression – it was from my most active period ever that I crashed into one of the bleakest phases of my life, and there are too many amateur and professional athletes suffering from it – but that it can help prevent a rebound. Especially since the biggest anxiety factor (being the only fat person among a group of slim people) is being eliminated.

Class starts the first week of April; just an hour once a week. Not a massive programme, but it’s one hour less of sitting on my butt.